Alondra's Atomic Sauce

The demon queen before
being de-throned.

      My fellow heat seekers, I'm afraid I have failed you. A co-worker challenged me to try Alondra Hot Wing's Atomic wings. Since my ego was through the roof after defeating the demon sauce, I accepted the challenge perhaps a bit too soon. Regardless I ran over to Alondra's over in Downtown Long Beach, oblivious to the spicy horror that was ahead.
      Don't get me wrong, I still plan to continue my journey, but the atomic chicken tenders made me realize that my ego was stronger than my current ability to handle heat, atleast as of now. I should have saved this dish until later but I definitely plan to redeem myself!
     The atomic sauce requires you to sign a waiver that indicates that you are consuming the sauce on your own free will, that should have been a major sign that the sauce was HOT but I thought to myself "I'm the demon sauce champion! Bring it on!" I was foolish.
     First off the sauce is made out of habaner extract, then it is sprinkled with dry red pepper flakes and seeds. All of this places the sauce's spiciness rate at 1,000,000 on the Scoville scale! That is TWO THOUSAND times hotter than a jalapeno (which is at a rate of 500.)

Chicken tenders tossed in
atomic sauce.

     Of course I didn't know this before hand. As soon as my plate arrived I could smell the tangy deliciousness sent of traditional buffalo sauce. I gave it a big whiff and thought "well, it doesn't smell deadly." My friend, Rocio Ortega accompanied me on this trip and straight out said "you are going to die." I laughed in disbelief.
     With the first bite my mouth and lungs immediately caught fire, but that's ordinary right? Sure, but in a matter of seconds steam begun blowing out of my ears! I have seen this effect in cartoons, but NEVER have I felt this before in my life! I can handle the burning in my mouth, the numbing of my lips, the watering of my eyes, but I was going crazy with the heat coming out of my ears! I kid you not, I almost poured Cherry Coke into my ears and used the ice balls as ear plugs!

God save the queen!

      Because of all these madening sensations it took me about half an hour to finish one chicken tender! To try to cool off quickly I tried eating my celery and carrot stick, but it didn't work! Anything that I put into my mouth burned!
      I gave up and decided to take them home. I wanted to complete the challenge but I wasn't prepared for the atomic sauce, and trust me, the name is more than suitable! I hope to redeem myself once I recover the atomic blast that occured in my mouth.
     I feel about disappointed that I failed my fellow heat seekers, but I feel better that not even Ryan Seacrest could handle the blast. Sadly it serves as little consolation.
     By the way, after keeping the tenders in the fridge for a couple of hours the heat is still strong, but the ear-steam sensation is gone.